Playing Fair
by kitten007
Summary: O'neil and Carter decided it was about time Teal'c learned to play basketball. It soon turns competitive with Jackson in the mix. And when Vala shows up, well, all bets are off. entry in Sport of Love on TWCS Library


The Sport of Love Challenge

Hosted by The Writer's Coffee Shop.

Name of story: Playing Fair

Penname: Shaelove

Category : Decaf

Fandom: Stargate SG-1

To read the rest of the entries go to twcslibrary dot com

If you want to see the rules for this contest go to the challenges page on the TWCS Library.

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**Competitions at thewriterscoffeeshop dot com**

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_First things first: MGM owns Stargate, and all things related. I just own this insane little idea._

_Bliltxgirl - I can do nothing without you. Even when you didn't know Stargate, you just laughed at my nerd moment, let me have my fun, and willingly beta'd. 3 I have to give credit to An End Has A Start (AeHaS) for finding my premise utterly hilarious and encouraging me to write this in the first place. Thanks to Ardawen78 and Skyper24601 (Hubert24601) for their help with Stargate Trivia, and helping me make sure that it made sense. Thanks to Samitdamn for her comments and encouragement, and doing a fine job picking the teams. You are all wonderful._

_I'm sure there's many more people I'm forgetting. But enough about this. I'm shutting up so you can read and -hopefully- laugh with me._

_Also. I wouldn't recommend drinking anything. There's a potential choking/electrical hazard..._

**

* * *

Playing Fair**

"Teal'c, today we are going to teach you the art of Basketball," Carter declared.

"What is this basketball you speak of?" Teal'c asked.

"Why, it's only the greatest sport ever!" O'Neill cried. "I think he could give Shaq a run for his money, don't you, Carter?"

"I don't know, Shaq's got about a foot on him."

"Who has a foot on me?" A confused Teal'c asked. "Where is this shack you keep referring to?"

O'Neill patted Teal'c on the back. "You have a lot to learn, young padawan."

"I don't think I will ever understand humans. You are a strange race."

"You know, basketball was created in the late 19th century, by a man named Naismith. It's rumored that its origins actually lie in a medieval children's game -" Jackson was cut off by O'Neill.

"Enough talking. Meet outside in 10 minutes."

_

* * *

(on a basketball court, outside)_

"Teal'c, what in the world are you wearing?" Carter asked, balking at the 'uniform' Teal'c donned.

"Well, I was looking online for appropriate basketball attire, and I borrowed this from General Hammond."

O'Neill, beside himself with laughter, managed to ask, "Hammond had those? Is that Magic's Jersey from 1980? Dear God, those are microscopic."

"Actually, Magic Johnson was number-"

"Don't even start that, Jackson."

The group turned when they heard an appreciative whistle come from the other side of the court.

ign: left;""Vala?" Jackson asked, surprised.

Vala approached wearing what looked more like a cheerleader's outfit than a basketball player's.

"Relax, Daniel, for once I wasn't checking out your goods. They're hiding under that shirt. That thing is much too big on you."

"It's called a muscle tee," he protested.

"Well, it's certainly hiding your sculpted chest," Vala commented, running her hand down said chest. She then turned to Teal'c. "However, I _was_admiring Mr. Muscles over here."

O'Neill turned to Carter, and stage whispered, "I thought this was basketball, not an alien convention."

Carter laughed and decided it was time to take charge before things got _too_ out of control. Snatching the ball from O'Neill, Carter slapped the orange leather. "Alright. First things first. The overall goal of the game is to get this ball, into that hoop." Carter pointed at each object in turn. "You get the ball into the hoop by shooting it."

"But Major Carter, there are no weapons here to shoot," Teal'c interjected.

"Teal'c, Teal'c," O'Neill said while shaking his head. "You 'shoot' the ball by throwing it towards the hoop. It's just called shooting."

"Go ahead and try," Jackson offered.

Carter passed Teal'c the ball, which he proceeded to then shoot from the free-throw line. Teal'c, however, put far too much power into the shot, and the ball went flying over the backboard, rattling off the metal fence before slowly rolling back to the court.

"A little less power, Teal'c," instructed Carter. "You'll have better aim if you try like this." She picked up the ball, and demonstrated how to throw the ball, resting it almost entirely in her right hand with her left just helping guide the ball. She bent her knees, and on the extension, sent the ball floating in a perfect arc towards the basket. Carter sank the shot with a perfect _swoosh_.

Vala clapped excitedly while bouncing on the balls of her feet.

"Nice!" O'Neill actually sounded impressed.

"Where'd you learn to shoot like that, Sam?" Jackson asked.

"You learn a lot in a house full of guys," she replied with a shrug.

"Indeed," said Teal'c. "Shall I try again?"

Despite the cool April weather, the five friends managed to work up quite a sweat, mostly due to chasing the ball up and down the court.

"Teal'c, you'll be ready for the playoffs in no time," O'Neill commented while leaning against the metal gate surrounding the Cheyenne Mountain Complex's athletics field.

"You're definitely getting the hang of it," Carter agreed. "I think we can move past the basics."

Shooting, dribbling, and passing had all been covered, and the rest of the group was getting antsy for a game.

"There is more?" Teal'c asked, a tinge of exasperation sneaking into his normally even tone.

"Well… of course. Every sport has rules. Strategy. Competition," Jackson offered.

"So it is like war?" Teal'c was trying to understand his friends' strange fascination with this thing called basketball.

"Yes, I suppose it is, in a way," Carter answered. "People choose sides, and have been known to be overzealous."

"Why would you get worked up over basketball? It's just throwing a leather ball into a metal ring," commented Vala. "I mean, it's fun and all, but I don't get the obsession. Unless of course, you're getting worked up over all the hot, sweaty, muscular men. That is an obsession worthy of my time, right, Sam?" Vala winked at Carter, smiling when Carter shook her head.

"Vala, this is not a sport of mating rituals," Jackson sighed, clearly frustrated by her constant innuendos.

Carter and O'Neill were unaffected by Vala's way with words, and Teal'c was often just oblivious, leaving poor Jackson to fend for himself.

"Anyways," Jackson continued. "Usually, the teams play with 5 on a side, but there are only 4 of us here today, so we'll go 2-on-2."

"Excuse me," Vala said. "What am I? Minced pancreas?"

"Minced what?" Carter asked, disbelieving. "No, never mind. Vala, I've seen you play. Your 'defense' is rubbing your hands all over Daniel's chest and arms. That is not playing ball."

"I can't help myself. Jackson is mm-mm-good."

"Let's just get on with it!" O'Neill cried in frustration. "Now, where were we?"

"I believe Daniel Jackson was talking about '2-on-2'," Teal'c replied.

"Yes, 2-on-2. We will play in teams of two, half-court, call your own fouls, 21-wins," O'Neill summarized, apparently forgetting Teal'c's unfamiliarity with the sport.

Teal'c was quick to correct the Colonel. "O'Neill I believe you are forgetting that I do not understand what you are talking about."

"Right," O'Neill said, pressing his left hand into his temple. "So. Teams of two. Me and Daniel against you and Sam."

"So, Major Carter, we are a team then?" Teal'c asked.

"That we are," she replied with a smile. She turned to O'Neill, "and I cannot wait to take you down, Jack."

"Don't take that tone with me," O'Neill responded, his voice firm, but holding a twinge of amusement that let Carter know she was being challenged, not threatened.

Carter laughed it off, knowing full well that O'Neill was all talk.

"Um, Jack," Jackson began. "If we're playing man-on-man, who's guarding Teal'c?"

"Teal'c isn't the one you need to worry about, Jackson," O'Neill commented.

"Ah, so you're coming to your senses," Carter smirked.

"Now Carter, what did I tell you..." O'Neill started, before Vala interrupted.

"Let's play ball!" She cheered.

The players looked on while Vala clapped.

"Enough chit-chat," she said. "I'm ready to see you boys sweat." After a short pause, she added, "no offense Sam. You're not my type."

"Trust me, Vala, no offense taken. At all," Carter replied. "Alright boys, time to show me what you're made of."

Carter walked to the top of the three point line. "Teal'c, just follow my lead."

"Right," Teal'c replied, and walked to stand behind Carter.

"Teal'c, what are you -" Jackson asked, before O'Neill cut him off.

"Jackson." O'Neill shook his head.

"But -" Jackson continued.

"I want to see where this goes," O'Neill whispered.

Carter looked up, ready to start the game, realizing that Teal'c was standing behind her, and not somewhere she could actually pass the ball to.

"Teal'c, what are you doing?" Carter sighed.

"I'm following your lead." Teal'c paused. "You said to follow."

"Teal'c," Carter sighed, "stand in front of me."

"Where in front of you?"

"Teal'c, remember what we talked about. Move about the court. Just keep an eye on me and the ball." When Teal'c didn't respond, Carter took a deep breath and closed her eyes. "Teal'c, I know you've paid more attention than this. Did O'Neill put you up to it?"

"Indeed," was the only reply Teal'c gave as a smile played on his lips.

Vala was beside herself with laughter.

"Oh, so you were in on this, too?" Carter accused.

"No, but your face was priceless," Vala laughed.

Carter sighed. "Alright boys. You had your fun. Time to get serious."

"What do you say we make this a little more interesting?" O'Neill offered.

"What did you have in mind?" Carter asked.

"Losers have to do the winners' bidding. For a week," O'Neill stated.

"You're on."

"You sound pretty confident."

"You have no idea. Ready, Teal'c?"

"Indeed," Teal'c replied.

_

* * *

- An hour later-_

"Let's go, Daniel, let's go!" Vala cheered, "Sink that ball!" She giggled as Jackson's shot fell just short of the hoop.

"Vala! Would you quit distracting me? I really don't want to be Teal'c's slave boy all week."

"You could be my slave boy," she trailed.

"Vala!" O'Neill shouted, and she cowered slightly. "Save your fangirling for after the game."

"But..."

"No buts about it!"

Vala pouted, and plopped down onto a bench that faced the court.

"Cheer up, Vala," Carter called. "I'll make Daniel run errands for you, too, while he's compelled to do my bidding."

"You're still mighty confident there, Carter," O'Neill interjected. "You know we're tied 17-17. It's anyone's game."

Carter just laughed. "You haven't seen anything, yet."

Teal'c took the ball back to the three-point line.

"Colonel O'Neill, are you ready to be taught?"

"Schooled, Teal'c. It's 'are you ready to be schooled'."

While O'Neill was busy trying to correct Teal'c on yet another colloquial faux pas, Teal'c managed to pass the ball to Carter, who was strategically close to the basket.

"A little help," Jackson yelled as Carter dribbled the short distance to make a layup. Unfortunately for Jackson, he didn't anticipate the layup early enough. Carter plowed through Jackson, who didn't take the charge very gracefully and instead pulled Carter down to the asphalt with him.

"Foul!" She cried. "And the shot was good."

"That was dirty, Sam," Jackson groaned from the ground.

"That's basketball, Daniel," she replied, picking herself up.

"Are you okay, Daniel Jackson?" Teal'c inquired.

"Daniel! Can you walk? You aren't badly hurt are you?" Vala called from her bench, still slightly afraid of O'Neill. "We can skip sick bay and take you straight to my quarters. I'll make a very good nurse."

Jackson got to his feet rather quickly at that proposition, and grimaced while his face was still turned away from Vala. Once righted Jackson replied, "I'm good. No need for a nurse." Then, under his breath, "especially not you."

"What was that, Daniel? I didn't quite hear the last bit."

"Um, oh, nothing. I just said let's keep playing. Sam has a free throw to miss, after all."

"Just go ascend or something," she retorted.

"Play nice ladies," O'Neill joked.

"Just give me the ball," Sam said. O'Neill passed the ball to her, and she wasted no time making her free throw, putting herself and Teal'c in the lead with 19 points.

Jackson and O'Neill wasted no time making up the lost points. After Teal'c accidentally collided with Carter, O'Neill took advantage of the confusion and sank a shot outside the three-point arc, earning two points in the half court game.

"Ready to give up yet?" O'Neill taunted, clearly enjoying the friendly rivalry.

"About as ready to give up as I am to be a Goa'uld host," Carter replied. "No offense."

"None taken," Vala yelled. "You tell 'em girlfriend!"

The ball changed hands multiple times in the next fifteen minutes of play. All four players were getting winded, and slightly frustrated. The pressure of the wager was getting a little heavy.

"I. Refuse. To. Be. A. Slave. Again." Teal'c grunted, as he jumped and dunked the ball over O'Neill's up stretched arms.

"You got springs hiding in those shoes?"

"I don't know what you mean, Major Carter," Teal'c replied.

"If I knew you could dunk like that, I would have picked teams differently," O'Neill said.

"I did not know that was allowed," Teal'c stated.

"You mean we could have won by now?" Carter was slightly exasperated. "Teal'c, just do that one more time and we'll have this in the bag."

"In what bag, Major Carter?"

"It's an expression, Teal'c. It means we'll win," Carter replied.

"Would not that be unfair?"

"O'Neill made the wager; no one said dunking isn't allowed. Just do that one more time and we'll win."

"You're forgetting one small detail," Jackson said with a small laugh. "It's our ball."

Carter was not about to lose to O'Neill. Though he was her commanding officer, she wasn't thrilled at the prospect of being at his beck and call for a week. She shook her head before her mind travelled down a road it shouldn't.

Jackson was dribbling the ball, and trying to direct O'Neill to a strategic placement. Carter swiped the ball while he was distracted, and tore into the key to make the final layup. O'Neill caught the movement, though, and was on Carter before she could get the shot off, leaving Teal'c wide open. She passed the ball quickly to him, and Teal'c wasted no time getting the shot off.

The leather ball clanged loudly against the rim before circling around and around. Everyone was holding their breath. Two hoping the shot would fall in, two more hoping it would roll out, and Vala who just wanted to see Daniel shirtless when all was said and done.

The moment the ball tipped in just far enough to be caught by the net, the atmosphere changed. Teal'c gave a rare smile. Carter and Vala hugged out of excitement. O'Neill swore under his breath, and Jackson groaned.

"You're not really going to make us be your slaves for the week, are you, Sam?" O'Neill asked.

"Hah! Like I would pass up this opportunity," she replied. "Teal'c, I think some celebrating is in order."

"What did you have in mind, Major Carter?" asked Teal'c.

"Sam, can I make a suggestion?" Asked Vala.

"Sure, but I'm pretty sure it's going to involve Daniel losing his shirt."

"I can't believe you think so little of me, Sam," Vala said, pretending to be hurt. "I'd make Jack lose his too."

"We'll work our way up to that, Vala. For now, I think some cake is in order," said Sam.

"Indeed."

O'Neill and Jackson exchanged a look, knowing this was going to be a long week.

* * *

_I really hope you enjoyed this. Many MANY thanks once again to my lovely Beta, who allowed me to not only ask her to beta this, but to try and give her bits and pieces of the Stargate SG-1 Universe that she knew little to nothing about._

_Thanks to all the lovely ladies (and gentlemen) on twitter who amuse me endlessly, and encouraged me in this venture. You can generally find an instigator or two for any crazy ideas that get in my head over there._

_Thats all for now._

_Shae_

_ps... voting in the Sport of Love for Decaf is May 1-7th :) I know it already started, but if you're so inclined, mosey on over to **twcslibrary dot com**._


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